This Is The Way I Tend To Be
by myTheoryofagoodLife13
Summary: It's been a week. A week and nothings changed. Angela still ignores Jordan, making him unbearable for the 'guys'. As well as the problem of Angela, Jordan has to deal with his rubbish father and his innocent little sister. However this is proving impossible as teachers start to notice little things about Jordan, that aren't alright. (Mostly follows the males of the show.)
1. Some Mornings I Pray For Evenings

This is the way I tend to be.

"I remember you and the way you shine in truth in all you do

and if you remember me you could save me from the way I tend to be"

- Frank Turner The Way I Tend To be

In this Jordan has a younger sister, Maria who is seven. She was born a year before their mum left, and so Jordan had to look after her from a young age. This takes place straight after the show ended and follows Jordan and his friends. The facts behind the show are the same, but some names or little facts might be slightly different because I forget the details. This is just written for fun. :) I'm really bad at updating, sorry.

It starts a couple days after the last episode. Anything in _Italic is Jordan's thoughts _and anything in _**bold italic is Shane's thoughts. **_

Don't own the characters or the TV series and any lyrics I used or bands/brands I mention... etc.`

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Thursday

As soon as he entered the old house he could hear the deep laughter, and it made him shudder. His father was home earlier than Jordan had anticipated, and he was starting to think twice about skipping the last half of the day.

_Sounded like he had brought his drinking buddies home with him too._

Sighing, Jordan checked his watch. It was not even three yet. He can't pick up Maria until 3:30. As quietly as he could, Jordan went up the stairs to his room, to changed and grab his guitar.

_Might as well just hang at the loft until Shane or Joey get there._

After changing shirts and grabbing his old guitar, he headed back down the stairs, and left the house unnoticed.

_Unwanted._

The loft always came across to Jordan as a place of refuge. A place to stay when his dad got too much. To his friends, the loft was a place to drink. To smoke. To fuck. Jordan sighed, and took the hammock in the corner, putting his guitar on the floor. He gazed up at the ceiling for a bit,

"Yo, what up Catalano."

Jordan turned to see Tino enter, six-pack of beer held in one hand and he immediately tensed.

"Skipped school?" Tino smirked as he sat down opposite him.

Jordan shrugged.

_Fuck me if he's still angry. Doesn't look angry though._

"You not angry?"

Tino shook his head, "Was, as you know. But whatever, I know you wont fuck her again."

Jordan nodded and sighed sadly to himself.

"She hates you though."

Taking a gulp of beer Jordan put confused eyes on Tino.

"Angela. Graff told me all this shit about Angela not talking to her and how upset she was, then she said at least Angela still hates you too."

_Of course she does. I screwed up big time._"

"But she still likes ya."

"What?"

Tino smirked, "Angela still likes you. I mean she still hates you, and fuck knows if she'll ever forgive you, but she still likes you."

_But I can't live life knowing she doesn't forgive me._

"Yeah that Brain kid told me so."

Putting his beer on the floor Tino laughed.

"What?"

_Why is he laughing at me? I swear that's all people ever do is laugh at me._

"That's where the 'letter' came from then."

_Fuck not the letter. She found I hadn't wrote it, made me take her home and then at school said that we can maybe be friends but not more. Some bullshit about how she couldn't do that to Brian. If she really liked me surely whatever Brian was thinking didn't matter. She says we're friends but she ani't talking to me still._

Jordan frowned, "How'd fuck you know about that?"

"Rickie told me when I picked up Ray."

Sighing, Jordan played with a loose thread on his shirt.

_Tino talks like he knows when he doesn't. His and Graff's relationship is different to normal. It's sex. It's fun. It's not exclusive. I don't want that with Angela. I want her to be mine and I want to be hers, in some way, any way. I want to mean something to someone more than a car lift, more than a stress relief shag, more than an older looking face to get into a club. I want, I just want to be wanted._

"Look man, no one cares who you fuck or don't. But this girl is not that type, and if you really are just interested in the sex, give up. It ain't going to happen." Tino told his friend.

"You think I don't know that. That's why I messed up last time, coz I wanted fuckin' sex and she didn't. It ain't about that."

Tino opened his arms out, "Just tellin' ya again man."

They sat in silence for a bit.

"It's not for the sex?"

_Why does he keep going on about sex. Not everything is about sex. It's her._

"Look it's not about that," Jordan sighed, fed up.

Tino smiled, entertained, "So really?"

"I mean, sex with her would be good. But there's more than that."

Relaxing into his chair, Tino nodded, "Course there's more. Shane's been tellin' me all week."

Jordan laid back and closed his eyes.

_Then why did he keep asking me questions if he knew already, it's making me tried trying to explain everything._

"So you want a girl friend. Who fuck cares?!" Tino told him.

Leaving his eyes closed, "Joey, Tom, the rest of the guys. ME."

Tino dropped his smile, "Why do they matter? You like her."

_But girlfriends are different. That means meeting parents, turning up to places, going out, and with Angela, not getting any._

"It's just different. Like I'm, expected to do things or whatever."

Tino nodded, "Yeah but if she's worth it. If she will take you as you as."

_I don't get why Tino is bothered by this that much. I've know him and Shane the longest. I met Shane when I was 5, lonely and had no friends. I met Tino when I was 7, when Shane made friends with him. But Shane has been the one I've talked to when things happened. Not Tino._

"Whatever man."

Jordan got up and headed out, Tino not questioning.

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Thanks for reading! Please review to help me improve my writing, (it's not the most outstanding piece).


	2. You still take more from me

Holdin' It Down For The Underground – A Day To Remember

"Tell me we'll be okay  
(We'll be okay!)  
Lets go back, lets go back  
To a time where I still felt I had family"

Hey, thank you for the reviews, Knotty Ink, Faybian, Marion Davis and Guest. :) Thanks Sammy. :P Hopefully this chapter is okay as the last one. I think there is going to be 10 chapters in this story. Sorry if the updating is irregular, I've got my exams coming up. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. :)

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Maria had beautiful long brown hair, that flowed around her face. She radiated innocence. Her eyes were a dark intense brown, not light like their fathers, but like their grandmothers. Jordan had his mothers eyes. His aesthetics were of his mothers family. Maria's were from her own Catalano family.

Jordan hummed to himself as he waited for Maria's school to let out. He didn't pick her up everyday, just days he felt unwanted. He wanted to see her smile as she saw his car.

_Maria is mum. In her soul she is mum, not matter what she looks like on the outside. She has the same melodic laugh. The same goddess smile. Maria is hope._

"Jay?"

Jordan's face lit up as he heard the familiar squeal of his sister. He got out the car just in time to be met with his little sister's body running straight into him.

"What are you doing here Jay?" Maria smiled as he opened Red's door for her.

"Thought I'd come pick you up."

He checked Maria was safely in the car before starting it and setting off home.

Swallowing Jordan started to speak, "May, Dad's having a bad day today so stay out of his way, and I'll bring you dinner tonight 'kay?"

She nodded still smiling oblivious to the horror the her brother and her were really living.

The two children entered the worn house.

"Jordan!"

Jordan jumped a foot into the air as his fathers loud growl ran out through the house. He bent down to his sisters height.

"Go do your homework up stairs. I'll bring you dinner later."

Maria nodded before skipping softly up to her bedroom.

"Son! Get in here."

Hunching his shoulders more, Jordan shuffled into the kitchen. His old man and two guys called Sam and Neil, (His father's old college drop out buddies) sat drinking beer and laughing at the small four seat table.

"Your sister home?"

Nodding Jordan stood staring out the kitchen window.

"You gonna make food or what?"

Jordan turned and started to look through the cupboard, only to see there was only pasta, a few tins and one jar of pasta source. Sighing to himself, Jordan got out some pasta, cursing under his breath, a bit louder than he thought he did. He felt a smack to the back of the head.

_Please don't let him start tonight._

Thomas Catalano glared down at his son before returning to his mates who sat UN-bothered by the contact.

_That's messed up, when you go to your mates house and you see him hitting his own son, you ignore it. Probably do the same to their kids knowing the type of people dad's friends with._

"I'd better being off now, Tom." Max told his father, and soon both of his Dad's friends had left, leaving only the two Catalano's in the room. Anger ran out through the kitchen as Jordan quietly cooked pasta and Thomas sat smoking and drinking at the small table in the corner.

"I got a call from your school again." Thomas started.

Jordan tried to ignore his father, and busied himself mixing pasta source. Suddenly, a firm hand was placed down harshly on his shoulder.

"Look the fuck at me, when I speak to you." his father growled at him.

_Please not tonight_.

Jordan moved to face his father, standing away from the oven, still scared of what had happened countless times before when they had argued in the kitchen.

"When are you just going to give that place up? You're failin' and skippin' classes."

Jordan shrugged, "I need to get an education."

His father snorted, "Since when did you care about that shit. Thought you were gonna drop out and leave."

Clearing his throat Jordan began, "I don't wanna drop out any more. I don't want to work in a garage my whole life."

Thomas laughed, "Oh yeah? And what do you want to do after school? College? You're to fucking stupid to get into college Jordan. Grow up."

_I'm not going to end up like him. I'm going to hang around here. Fuck him and what he thinks._

Clenching his fist, his spoke again, "I could go to college if I wanna. I'm not fucking wasting in this town my fucking whole life like this family."

The hit was felt before it was registered.

Jordan doubled over in as he fathers fist made contact with his stomach.

"Watch your mouth in my house. I ain't helping you with college and once you're 18 you're out. So you'd better get looking for a full time job and a place to live."

Another hit was placed to the side of the head.

"Get used to this town, 'coz you're gonna waste away in it. Dumb fuck."

His father spat at him and then left the house.

Jordan sat on the cold kitchen floor for a bit. The shock hurt more then the actual hits. After four years of just noise, the contact pushed Jordan back into a mental state of his former self. Closed-up. Scared. Alone.

His life was about to get a whole lot more worse.

"Jordan?"

Hope rang out through the house.

"Is dinner ready?"

Pulling himself up off the floor, Jordan placed the now over cooked meal into three bowels. He placed one in the fridge and two on the kitchen table.

Little footsteps could be heard from behind him.

"I washed my hands."

Jordan smiled to himself as he turned to his little sister.

"Pasta tonight. What do you want to drink?"

Maria reached up and got the forks off of the kitchen side.

"Water please."

She set them down on the table, and sat down in her seat, swinging her legs.

"Maria we have orange juice or milk if you want."

Shaking her head, Maria smiled, "But you and Dad were arguing again. That means there's not much left this month."

Placing two glasses of water on the table Jordan sat opposite his sister.

"When you grow up Maria, if you have kids, you're gonna be the best mum."

Maria looked up at her brother, confused.

"And make sure when you have a family of your own, you sit down and have a, y'know proper dinner with them every night."

"Jordan,"

"You like the pasta?"

Maria nodded, still confused.

"So," Jordan cleared his throat, "How was school today? Harry didn't try and steal your pencils again did he?"

Jordan smiled as he sister told him about her day. She was so care-free and full of life and hope. Everything Jordan wasn't.

_She's clever. Gonna make something of herself one day, and I'll be able to tell everyone, tell Shane and Tino -that's my sister._

**Friday **

It was only a Friday, so Jordan skipped. He didn't have anyone who wanted him at school.

_Tino's probably out somewhere doing fuck knows, and Shane's got better things to be doing than listen to him moan, or a better someone to do._

He dressed up a bit, he admitted that. But he needed to buy more supplies for the house and going shopping in the middle of the day was stupid unless he made himself look older and more purposeful. Having a purple mark on the left side of his face did not help him.

"Jordan?"

He turned confused at to who would know him here, in a shop full of deodorant and tooth paste. He was faced with a middle aged women.

"It's me, Angela's mum."

Jordan nodded.

_She looks different without the make up and fancy clothes._

"Aren't you supposed to be in school?" Mrs Chase questioned him and Jordan almost laughed.

_Maybe Angela's mum is as naïve and blind as Angela is._

Jordan shrugged, "I had a free. Needed to go shopping for my old man."

Mrs Chase looked at him doubtfully, until she gazed down at his basket to see amongst his items were a pink toothbrush, some strawberry soap and some sort of silly bath toy.

Jordan caught her looking, "I, er, I have a little sister."

Mrs Chase smiled warmly, "Well I better go back… To… Umm…Shopping!"

Jordan nodded and went the opposite way to her.

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Thanks!


	3. Hard Days Made Me, Hard Nights Shape Me

The Young and The Hopeless - Good Charlotte

Cause I'm young and I'm hopeless  
I'm lost and I know this  
I'm going nowhere fast, that's what they say  
I'm troublesome, I'm fallen  
I'm angry at my father  
It's me against this world and I don't care  
I don't care

**Hey, Here is chapter three :) Thanks for taking the time to read this chapter.**

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**Monday**

_Monday's aren't different to any other week day apart from everyone being angry because the weekend's over. I wake up with the same worn out feeling on a Wednesday as I do on a Monday._

"Jordan!"

Sighing, Jordan pulled himself up in his bed, and stretched his arms. Looking dazed around the room, Jordan grabbed some old jeans and shoved them on. He sighed again and made his way to his sister's room.

"What May?"

Little Maria sat in front of her mirror, and held a brush out towards him. He noticed the mark his dad had left on his face had faded.

"Can you brush my hair please?"

Jordan's frown quickly turned into a small smile, as he sat behind Maria, and start to brush through her long well kept hair.

"Can you take me to school today please?" Maria questioned her brother, who nodded.

"OK, but only because it's a Monday, May."

Maria squealed and skipped down stairs to most likely get breakfast. After finding a shirt and his lighter, Jordan grabbed his keys and headed for the door. He went to shout for Maria but soon found her stood patiently at the front door.

"Daddy is asleep in there," Maria pointed to the living room, "So I didn't say goodbye today."

Jordan nodded and lead his sister towards the car.

"You didn't have breakfast with me again," Maria carefully whined. "Sorry May, I will try tomorrow."

The drive to Maria's school was quicker than expected and soon enough Jordan was pulling up at school, Shane already waiting next to his usual parking space. _Doesn't he have anyone else to hang out with, seriously._

"Dude where were you all weekend?"

Jordan put his hand up to silence Shane. "Don't, nag me."

Shane narrowed his eyes, "You all right?"

Taking a deep breath Jordan nodded, "S'just the old man again. Giving me shit."

Now less defensive, Shane nodded, "Fair. But you did miss a great party on Saturday."

The old school bus pulled up as the bell went.

"You go ahead, I'm gonna wait for someone."

Shane smirked, "Tell her I said morning."

Jordan shook his head at his friend and walked towards where she was getting off the bus. Her hair was fading more each week. _I hope she re dyes it._ As always she looked pretty, in a abstract way. Jordan tried his best not to stare at her. _In__ her own special way , she's pretty._

"Angela hey," Jordan started, in a slow and cool voice.

Angela huffed, "Look I'm late Jordan I need to get to home-room."

Her voice was no longer nervous and radiated school girl with a massive crush. She was now sure of herself around him.

"Can we like talk? Please?" Jordan stuttered, following her up the steps.

"No, unlike you I actually turn up to my classes."  
Slightly taken back, Jordan stopped and narrowed his eyes at her,

"I'm uh, I'm like really sorry about the letter. I know I said that last week but yeah whatever. Brain's not tutoring me any more."

Angela sighed, "Look. I know OK, but I don't need the stress you put on my right now. OK?"

And she left.

_Shit, she's actually moved on. Like she actually doesn't care any more._

The late bell went and Jordan sighed.

_Might as well just turn up at classes to sleep._

At lunch Shane and Jordan stood by Red.

"She doesn't want me."

Shane raised an eyebrow, "She never wanted you."

Jordan lent backwards, "Not sex, she don't want me in anyway now."  
Shane took a drag from his smoke, "Yeah, but girls like that don't want us Catalano. She was al-right, but she won't forgive you. She wants a proper boy friend who she can like reply on."

Looking across to his friend Jordan said, "How the fuck would you know?"

Shrugging Shane replied, "Don't. Just guessing man. Ask Tino."

They both laughed at this.

"I'm surprised he didn't kill ya."  
Jordan shook his head, "Him and Graff aren't that close."

Shane shook his head, "But still, Graff is Tino's. When I tired to sleep with her, Tino got all bothered, You would have thought he and her were together."  
"I don't know. He found me after I took Angela home. She said she didn't like that I lied and that she couldn't leave that Brain kid there like that. So I took her home."  
Jordan sighed, "Tino was angry at first, but didn't want a fight. I told him how she rejected me, and he just went off again."

Shane laughed, "Shame, would've wanted to see him kick your ass."  
The bell signaled end of lunch.

"I should have Math right now." Shane laughed.

Jordan looked over at the school, "I have English."

Shane asked, "You going?"

Jordan nodded, "Should really,"

The two walked up the steps and went different ways.

Mr Katimski sighed as he handed back papers to his students from last week. He got to Jordan handed Jordan his, and told Jordan in a low voice to see him after class.

_Shit, that's just what I want. Another teacher to tell me I'm not clever enough._

Jordan slept through most of the class. He was awoken by someone walking into his desk. Stretching his arms he watched as everyone began to leave for their next lessons.

"So, hey. Um."  
Jordan gazed up to Brian above him.

"What?" Jordan asked.

"So, I can't tutor you any more. Like I have a lot of my own work to do, so yeah."

Jordan raised an eyebrow.

_Bullshit. It's all because of that letter and the fact that he's in love with Angela._

"Look man," Jordan began,

"No! I can't tutor you so just like get someone else to or don't."  
Brian walked out of the class, leaving Jordan standing up annoyed.

"Jordan," Mr Katimski started, walking towards the yawning teenager, "You paper was a uh fail. You don't ask half the uh questions on the book."

Jordan walked to the door, "Yeah, so."  
The teacher sighed, "Jordan the exams are uh coming up. You can't uh, fail again."

Shaking his head Jordan asked Mr Katimski, "What do you want me to do?"  
Mr Katimski smiled, "Just uh read through the book, and practice answering questions."

Jordan laughed to himself, "Yeah right."  
Katimski sighed as Jordan left the room.

**Tuesday**

Jordan didn't know why he'd come to Katimski's class at lunch, he just sort of ended up there.

_If I'm gonna graduate I need to pass English. _

Mr Katimski moved his head up from reading a freshman's paper.

"Jordan?"

Playing with his jumper sleeves, Jordan shuffled into the classroom.

"What can I uh do for you then?" the teacher smiled at his student.

Jordan kept his mouth shut and just stared at Mr Katimski. He seemed to be thinking of what to say to his teacher without sounding to dumb and helpless.

_Maybe if I tell him, or at least give him a sign, he'll work it out, and help me with my work._

"So," Jordan started, grabbing his teachers full attention, "So, Brai – Brian, was like tutoring me or whatever, but he like quit, coz we don't get along or something."  
"And-" Katimski encouraged.

"And, so like, he was going to explain the book to me, but now he's like not gonna."

Mr Katimski nodded and stared to say something but Jordan cut him off.

"So, I, like I haven't read the book."

"Well you need to Jordan, to pass the exam, you need to read the book, again."

Jordan nodded but sighed sadly.

"I like, I tried, to like read it or whatever," Jordan trailed off, and started to bite his thumb nail.

"What do you mean you only tried?"

Jordan shrugged, and stared to fiddle with a pencil from Mr Katimski's desk. He then sighed and left the classroom, leaving his teacher confused.

"What's holdin' your balls Catalano?" Joey questioned, as Jordan approached his friends in the school parking lot.

Shane smirked, "Not that red haired again?"

Jordan frowned, "Why'd you always think it's her?"

His friends exchanged eyes, and the group started to move outside.

"Well what is it then?" Luke, the new to their band bassist, asked.

Jordan pulled the keys out to Red, "Just some mid term bullshit."  
The guys laughed.

_They never take anythin' seriously._

"You skipping?" Nathan the other guitarist questioned, his keys for his car in his hand.

Jordan nodded, "Loft? We could do with some practice."

The band nodded, split into three cars and headed to the loft.

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Thanks again for reading and enjoy your day! :)


	4. I Can't Take Back All These Mistakes

Best Of Me – Sum 41

I'm sorry, it's all that I can say  
You mean so much  
And I'd fix all that I've done if I could start again  
I'd throw it all away to the shadows of regrets  
And you would have the best of me

Hey, here is chapter 4, I should be revising for my English exam right now, but oh well. I hope you like it. Thanks. Sorry if there's any mistakes!

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**Wednesday**

It was cold that morning, and Jordan got out of bed feeling like shit. Coughing as he dressed, groaned as his throat started to ache.

_Great, the flu is just what I need._

Maria had already left for school by the time Jordan made his breakfast. On his way out of the house he past his father, who glared as he walked, causing Jordan to tense and fasten his pace.

_This is almost worst, the tension and fear. Then again, at least today I'm safe and living in fear something happening._

After getting a coffee to go, Jordan drove slowly to school. Shane just laughed at him, as Jordan went to talk but all that came out was a croak.

Coughing again, Jordan punched his friend in the arm, "Shu'up."

Jordan went to one of his morning lessons, and hung out with Shane and the band at break, them all teasing him of course for having a cold before realising that they had a gig on Friday, and needed him to sing.

_Fuckin' childish humour._

Jordan dreaded English, but knew that if he didn't turn up, Katimski would track him down somehow. If anything, he wouldn't forget out their conversation the previous day.

"Uh Jordan." Mr Katimski called as the bell went for end of lesson.

He'd got through the whole lesson without being called on.

Jordan stopped, and breathed in.

"Did you read the book again?" Katimski asked, to which Jordan just shook his head.

"Gee-wiz Jordan it's only a small book. I'm not asking for you to write me a ten page, essay. Just read it again."

Jordan just nodded, keeping his head down.

_Being silence always worked._

"Why don't you uh read the first page to me now." Katimski demanded, but held a gentle manner in his voice.

Jordan took the book, the teacher held out for him.

_What the fuck am I doin'? Bail Catalano. Just make an excuse and bail._

"Haven't got all, uh all day Jordan!" Katimski lightly laughed.

"I've like gotta go to my next class," Jordan started and to his surprise Mr Katimski nodded and let him walk out the class room.

Walking down the corridor Jordan heard Luke shout to him.

"So, Catalano, you still going to be able to sing on Friday? Right?" Luke questioned.

Jordan nodded, "Yeah."  
Luke grinned, "Cool. And you're sure that Joey isn't pissed that I replaced him?"

_I prefer Luke to Joey. Luke is nicer, a better bass player and doesn't fuck a girl instead of turning up to practise. But Luke likes to ask questions. And I don't like being the one he asks. Nathan has been in the band as long as me, why can't he just ask him._

"Sure. Joey's going to a party on Friday anyways."

Luke seemed satisfied and so stopped asking, and just started to talk away to Jordan about random things.

_There she is._

Angela and her friend Rickey were across at her locker, both looking in his direction.

"Go ahead to the others man, I'll catch you later." Jordan mumbled to Luke, who shrugged and strolled off.

He approached Angela as Rickey walked off.

"Hey," Jordan began.

Angela busied herself getting things out her locker, as Jordan lent against the locker next to hers.

"I-."

Angela cut her off, "I know your sorry."

Jordan nodded.

"But you like, slept with my best-friend Jordan! What am I meant to do? Forget that it never happened?"

"I'm sorry."  
Angela pushed her hair behind her ear and Jordan smiled inside at the familiar gesture.

Sighing, Angela closed the door to her locked.

"Jordan what do you want?"

Jordan stood up straight and looked up to think, as Angela waited for him to say something.

_Say something, dammit. Get some balls and say something. Say you want her. Say you like her._

"I," Jordan swallowed, "I'm sorry, that I like did that. I mean, I didn't want to have, but I was drunk y'know. And so was she. And I like you."

Angela laughed, "Now you like me."

Jordan looked at her confused, "So, yeah, I just feel like, lonely."

"Well, I'm not here just for like the sake of you not feeling a bit lonely." Angela told him, looking disgusted.

"No, like I told your mum. That I like need you or whatever. And I know that I've done some shitty stuff, but I'm gonna try to not do that stuff again. I'm sorry."

Angela looked up at him, eyes big and damp.

"I think I want to forgive you." She said in a small voice, and made a small smile at him, "But still, like I can't just forget what you did."

Leaning more into the lockers, Jordan tried again, "I know. And, I mean, I don't even like Graff, and I was drunk. I wouldn't have like fuc-had sex with her if I hadn't like been drunk."

Angela nodded, and sighed again. They stood in silence for a minuet, trying to work the other out.

Jordan swallowed, "So, the bands got a gig on Friday playin' at some party."

Angela made a small smile, "Cool."  
"So you like want to come?" Jordan asked, trying to hide the hope in his saw voice.

Angela nodded.

"I'll pick you up? Or whatever."

"Yeah, come by at like 6?"

Jordan nodded.

_I'm so glad I bothered coming to school today._

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Thanks, sorry that it's shorter than the others. :)


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